


Against The Wind

by saintminnn



Category: Super Junior, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Excessive Use of Lyrics To Tell a Story, M/M, Music, Pre-Relationship, Talking About the Past, collaborations, idol lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:20:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28785579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saintminnn/pseuds/saintminnn
Summary: All thought of the meeting is gone from his mind in the morning, as Yoongi throws himself into the work for the day, but when he returns to his phone following several interviews and a photoshoot, there’s a series of texts waiting for him from Lee Donghae, including several pictures of Donghae’s walk from his home to the nearest cafe, with the sunrise in one picture, and then several angles of a particularly ugly dog. Yoongi laughs harder than he should at the dog and replies with mock outrage at Donghae’s pointed, ugly dog, caption to the pictures.
Relationships: Min Yoongi | Suga/Lee Donghae
Kudos: 6





	Against The Wind

_ ~ _ **_Flying fast, here we go_ **

**_Don’t look back_ **

**_You better get used to it_ **

**_Seen you fall, that’s okay_ **

**_No time now_ **

**_You gotta catch up with me, with me_ ** _ ~ _

When it comes to working with other idols, Yoongi has always shied away from working with men. There’s a reason for it, like with everything he does, and truth be told, Yoongi can’t stand the arrogance that comes with most male idols. The waves of masculinity so embroiled in toxicity and heteronormativity that it makes it difficult to breathe just doesn’t quite jog Yoongi’s brain to provide music with meaning. 

It’s even more unusual for other idols to reach out to him. With how often Yoongi, and Bangtan, proclaim how busy they are, it’s usually expected that they themselves will extend an offer for a collaboration. 

It’s why the text that comes through to his phone when he turns airplane mode off after landing in Los Angeles astounds Yoongi enough that it sits unanswered for days, until one night, as he’s spacing off while the others argue amongst themselves, he remembers he hasn’t replied. Yoongi pulls his phone out, shifts a little at the table, and reads the message. 

_ Suga-ssi (Min Yoongi-ssi), _

_ This is Super Junior’s Lee Donghae. Kim Heechul gave me your number after I expressed interest in working with you on a song, to him. I understand this isn’t exactly the best route to go about this; please let me know however you best see fit to continue this conversation, should you be interested.  _

_ Lee Donghae~ _

It’s not the content of the text itself that makes Yoongi laugh, disbelieving. It’s, at first, that he can’t quite place Lee Donghae in his head, and actually has to look up which member, exactly, is Lee Donghae (though in his defense, Yoongi’s extent of the knowledge of Super Junior is the few who MC every other variety show, Kim Heechul, and the one that his mother had always expressed her love for). It makes him feel better, to see that Donghae is among the quieter members, rarely on variety shows. Donghae, frankly, seems overlooked at times, but a quick search gives Yoongi a list of the songs he’s worked on, as well as several clips from a show, of him working on music. Yoongi glances around to make sure the others are still arguing–they are–and connects his headphones to his phone, watching the clips and then sitting back to listen to the songs. 

They’re good. They’re the sorts of things that Yoongi admits to himself, is the sort of thing he would go seeking out to listen to, regardless of desire to work with the songwriter. 

Back in the hotel that night, Yoongi finally sits down to respond to the message. He starts to type several times and then stops, erasing the entire thing and starting again. Before he can manage to even get remotely close to writing a proper message, three dots appear at the bottom of his screen and Donghae sends a message. 

_ Also, please don’t feel the need to be super formal, if you choose to reply!  _

It helps, minimally, as Yoongi finally sends a reply, gnawing on his bottom lip and leaning back against the numerous pillows of the hotel bed. His eyes dart over the message, watching as the text delivers, and then the read receipt comes next. 

_ Sunbaenim, _

_ I’d be interested in hearing your proposal, for sure. We can continue to talk at this number, or I’ll attach my email below and you can reach me there as well; I check both constantly. I’m currently in Los Angeles, but I’ll be back in Seoul by the end of the week. Hopefully we can find a time to meet in person and discuss this further.  _

_ Min Yoongi | Suga _

Donghae then seems stuck in the same predicament as Yoongi, as the typing dots appear and disappear, back and forth for nearly half an hour. The response, though, isn’t quite what Yoongi expects, and he cocks his head at his phone as he reads it. 

_ Sorry for the wait, I had to beat up a member to get my phone back. Los Angeles, fancy. Are you recording out there? I like eating tacos in California. Highly recommend it if you’re able. And, once again, I apologize for the lack of professionalism. My members are… _

The fact that the text alone just trails off pulls a snort from Yoongi. He understands that sentiment. Bangtan behave when the cameras are on, at least, and try their best to not overstep onto each other’s toes. Yoongi can sometimes see when the button is pushed too far, and a flash of hurt flickers across Taehyung’s face, or Seokjin withdraws just a little from the conversation. But they do their best. Super Junior, though… Yoongi knows their reputation for pure chaos. 

Yoongi only hesitates for a second before his fingers type, seemingly of their own accord. His brain only catches up a few seconds too late, after he's already sent the message. 

_ What’s happening with SuJu sunbaenim right now?  _

Donghae’s response comes immediately and pulls a bark of laughter from Yoongi as he reads through the quotes that Donghae sends, one after the other with each member’s name attached so Yoongi can keep up. Yoongi appreciates it, even if handed a picture, he wouldn’t be able to place each member on the picture. 

_ Leeteuk: Anyways denim is the devil's fabric and I have carpet burns _

_ Hyukjae: From denim?  _

_ Choi Siwon: From… your jeans? _

_ Kim Heechul: You know, I don't think I want to know why.  _

There’s silence for a minute after that, and Yoongi frowns, only to snort when a message comes through. Donghae apologizes and Yoongi grins, dismissing the apology immediately. 

The texts come easier after that. Donghae tells him off after the fourth use of  _ sunbae _ , tells him hyung is perfectly fine, thank you, and Yoongi relents after putting up a useless fight for propriety for all of two minutes. 

Yoongi learns more about him. Donghae is an athlete, a farmer boy, from Mokpo, and he’s got an older brother. Yoongi, in turn, tells him that he’s similar; that he’s a former athlete, from Daegu, that he also has an older brother. Donghae sends a series of emojis when Yoongi admits that his older brother is still younger than Donghae, and Yoongi smiles to himself, more than he’s smiled texting anyone in a while. 

They agree to meet for coffee when BTS are back in Seoul, and Yoongi adds it to his calendar and then sends a text to the managers to let them know of the addition to his schedule. 

All thought of the meeting is gone from his mind in the morning, as Yoongi throws himself into the work for the day, but when he returns to his phone following several interviews and a photoshoot, there’s a series of texts waiting for him from  _ Lee Donghae _ , including several pictures of Donghae’s walk from his home to the nearest cafe, with the sunrise in one picture, and then several angles of a particularly ugly dog. Yoongi laughs harder than he should at the dog and replies with mock outrage at Donghae’s pointed,  _ ugly dog _ , caption to the pictures. 

When Yoongi next checks his phone, several hours later, Donghae has wished him a good night in frankly terrible aegyo. It still puts a smile on Yoongi’s face, and he sends one in return, throwing in a selfie for good measure. He wakes to a selfie from Donghae and a,  _ dance practice, 8 hours, kill me now _ , caption to it. 

Yoongi checks his phone again at lunch, to a video of what appears to be several members of Super Junior lying on top of who Yoongi  _ definitely _ recognizes at Leeteuk. Yoongi watches with barely concealed amusement as Donghae lets out a yell and throws himself over the pile, and the shouts that follow.

“What is that?” Seokjin asks, and peers over his shoulder when Yoongi doesn’t immediately reply. “Is that Super Junior sunbaenim?”

“Yeah,” Yoongi replies and shakes his head. “Donghae reached out about something and we’ve been texting.” Seokjin’s expression is hard to read, but Yoongi can see the disbelief, so he scrolls up to the beginning of the conversation and lets Seokjin read it. 

“So he reached out about a collaboration,” Seokjin says slowly. “And now you’re flirting.” Yoongi just sighs and turns when their names are called to the stylists’ chairs. 

Their chat falls quiet after that, until the day they finally agreed to meet. Yoongi walks into the cafe and looks around. It doesn’t take long for him to place Donghae sitting in the corner, two coffees in front of him. Yoongi smiles, and slides into the chair opposite him, smile widening when Donghae jumps and then smiles at him. 

“How was Los Angeles?” Donghae asks, and Yoongi grins. 

“It was good. Your videos made it easier,” Yoongi says and watches as the tips of Donghae’s ears turn red, and he ducks his head, brushing his hair away from his face when he looks up with a grin. “You said you had ideas, right?” 

“Yeah, I did,” Donghae says, and with that, they get down to business. Yoongi is impressed by what Donghae brings with him, all in a USB he plugs into Yoongi’s laptop. There’s at least one full song recorded already, and two more sets of lyrics written in documents that Yoongi reads. 

“You have a story,” Yoongi says, caught off guard. 

“You like telling stories,” Donghae replies with a shrug of his shoulders. “And I think we both have stories to tell. We just need our place to tell them.” Yoongi meets his eyes and smiles. Donghae smiles back, tentative at first, and then wider. 

“This is all just rough,” Donghae dismisses and waves his hand. “We can keep anything, we can get rid of anything, we can mix and match, blend it all together. All that. I just wanted to come with some ideas.” 

“Two men,” Yoongi says, looking over the lyrics open on the desktop. “Both have lived very different lives, share a drink and talk about their choices. Women, men, work, rinse, repeat. Both desperately want change. Are they willing to take the change when it comes?”

“Can they recognize that they are the change for the other?” Donghae throws in after a comfortable silence falls between them. Yoongi looks over at Donghae, but the elder isn’t looking at him, eyes focused instead on the computer in front of them. 

**_~You’ve spent all your life against the wind_ **

**_You have tried so many times to change_ **

**_Rest your head and take the time you need to break away the pain_ **

**_You’re not alone, now_ **

**_I am here~_ **

Yoongi begins to schedule time in his studio, locked away from the rest of the world, and on calls with Donghae when the older idol has time to sit down in his own studio. They brainstorm, hash out a rough storyline, and they each take one of the men they’ve created for their story. 

Yoongi has always had a fascination with watching other producers and songwriters work, and this fascination doesn’t change watching Donghae. Donghae is more of a perfectionist than even he is, and Yoongi watches through the screen as Donghae’s lips curl up into a wide smile and he eagerly plays back an idea he’d had earlier that day, for Yoongi to listen to. Yoongi closes his eyes and lets it play, lets it move him, and he nods, gesturing towards the computer in a silent gesture for Donghae to send it to him. 

Despite it all, though, they can’t find the time to meet up and work on something together. Donghae’s schedule is picking up with activity as Super Junior D&E gears up for a new album, and Yoongi is pulled towards constant rehearsals for the award show season coming up. 

One night when Donghae calls, Yoongi is in bed and exhausted after nearly twelve hours spent in a dance practice. Donghae’s look of concern is practically audible when Yoongi accepts the video call. “I’m okay,” Yoongi says, muffled by the pillow his face is pressed into, and Donghae’s sigh is practically condescending. 

“Send me your address,” Donghae says instead, and Yoongi lifts his head to squint at the camera. Donghae cocks an eyebrow and Yoongi groans and reaches out to his phone, typing out his address. Donghae hangs up seconds later. 

Yoongi pulls himself from bed twenty minutes later and lets Donghae into the apartment. Donghae looks around, curious for all of a few seconds, before his eyes fixate on Yoongi. “You look like hell,” Donghae says and Yoongi snorts. Donghae holds up a bag and grins. “Chicken and beer. Sit, I’ll get everything. Where are your plates?” 

They’ve nearly polished off everything that Donghae has brought when Donghae leans back against the arm of the couch and fixes his eyes on Yoongi. Yoongi leans back and mimics the movement, raising his eyebrows. “You tired?” Donghae asks and Yoongi surprises himself with his own answer, shaking his head no. Donghae smiles, nearly a grin, and nods towards the door. 

“Come. I like to take walks at night, for ideas.” 

It’s a terrible idea, but Yoongi gathers up his coat and keys and lets Donghae bully him into driving them to the river. The silence between them is comfortable as they walk along one of the paths. 

“When we were trainees,” Donghae starts to say, voice quiet. “Leeteuk would bring us out here whenever we were having a hard time. He’s always been a good leader, but I don’t think he ever really knew what he was doing. Except for getting us away from Heechul and talking to us.”

“Namjoon is good at that,” Yoongi nods. “Separate the problem from the situation and talk it out.” Donghae chuckles softly. 

“I used to wonder what makes such a good leader. I used to think it was problem solving. Now? I think they just make it up as they go and hope none of the rest of us catch on.” Yoongi chuckles and looks down. The conversation isn’t entirely out of place; Donghae had pulled from his own life and his story, the one he was working on for the album, was of a country-boy-turned-idol unsure of how to fit the two identities together. Donghae had decided, only recently, that his character had been made leader of his group, and that was the catalyst for his crisis. 

“It’s independence,” Yoongi says finally, pulling his hands from his coat pockets to blow on them and rub them together. Donghae offers him a pair of gloves. “They use it to cope with their own issues. They can’t rely on other people, so they make other people rely on them.” 

It’s cold, cynical, really, but Donghae nods, eyes searching the horizon. Yoongi watches as Donghae shifts on his feet and then sinks down to one of the benches, watching the icy water in the darkness. 

“Will he accept help, then?” Yoongi asks, sitting down next to him. Donghae looks over at him, but his eyes aren’t quite there, his mind still on the horizon. “Or will he continue to push back against the wind on his own, and fight the storm himself?” 

“We’re taking off for the big crowd,” Donghae says, softly. Yoongi looks at him. “We’ll run for free in the big town.” 

“Did you write that?” Yoongi asks. Donghae glances at him and nods.

“It’s a chorus. I don’t have anything else yet.” Donghae breathes out, the steam from his breath fogging up the glasses on his nose. Yoongi hums one of the tunes they had been working on, and Donghae sings it under his breath. Their eyes meet. Slowly, smiles touch their faces. 

**_~All those films that we believed_ **

**_Grown man’s wits on every street;_ **

**_The love, and never know defeat._ **

**_Listen out, whisper rose_ **

**_The whispered hush of chance comes rushing in~_ **

The album comes together quickly, despite Yoongi’s original intent of only writing a song with Donghae. Every second he doesn’t spend with Bangtan, is spent at his or Donghae’s apartments, writing together or just messing around, Yoongi with his keyboard and Donghae with his guitar. 

“Come record at my studio,” Donghae says one night and Yoongi presses a wrong key. Donghae laughs. Yoongi grimaces at him and shakes his head. 

“At SM? People will talk.” 

“They already talk,” Donghae points out, and Yoongi has to admit he has a point. The fact that Yoongi has spent every free minute with Donghae, most of the time in relatively public spaces, several times late at night along a path that lovers sometimes walk, has led to many rumors being started about them. Donghae had joked, more than once, about their friendship boosting Super Junior views and sales, and Yoongi had sighed and stayed quiet because, well, it’s true. 

“Come record with me, Yoongi,” Donghae says, and Yoongi realizes with a start that despite nearly three months of friendship, and time constantly spent together, this is the first time Donghae has ever said his name. 

Yoongi’s stubbornness gives in fast and he relents with, “Fine, fine, we’ll record at your studio. But I’m gonna give you hell for it, hyung.” Donghae just grins and sets his guitar aside to kick his legs up onto the couch. Yoongi hits his leg and Donghae kicks out at his hip in return.

Despite the years between them, it’s easy, around Donghae. Donghae is on the quieter side, though he enjoys attention, and he’s less self-conscious than Yoongi is, more likely to step in and speak for Yoongi if the situation calls for it. Not once can Yoongi recall paying for his own food or drink; Donghae has always been earlier than him to their meetings, and paid for his food, his drinks, and even ordered for him countless times. Yoongi appreciates every moment of it, of Donghae’s friendship. 

It’s the only thing keeping Yoongi’s head held high as he walks into SM and side steps past the main desk, flashing the visitor badge Donghae had pressed into his hands that night with a sharp grin and a wink as he left. Not that Yoongi really needs it; the security had all stared at him as he walked into the building. 

Yoongi finds the elevator with ease and takes it up to the eleventh floor, following the directions Donghae had sent him earlier that day. Down to the end of the hall, take the right, fourth door inside the meeting room marked,  _ Super Junior - DO NOT BREAK.  _ Making a mental note to ask why, exactly, SM felt the need to clarify that Super Junior should, in fact, not break the window to the meeting room, Yoongi walks past several studios with the lights still on.  _ Leeteuk _ , one marks.  _ Shindong _ , says another, and finally, at the end of the first row of studios, is the one with  _ Donghae _ written on it. Yoongi knocks once and toes his shoes off, closing the door behind him. 

A grin pulls at his face when he catches sight of Donghae curled up on the couch in the corner, asleep. Yoongi sets his bag down and settles into Donghae’s chair, turning to look at his set up, to go through some of the documents they had saved up over the course of their time working together. Yoongi pulls up the document with all of the finalized lyrics and makes tweaks to Donghae’s copy, to the places where Yoongi had changed things over his last editing spree earlier that day, during his lunch break. 

“You fucking up my copy?” Donghae’s voice is tired, but when Yoongi glances at the couch in the corner, Donghae’s lips are pulled up in a small smile, and his eyes are sharp under the thin-rimmed glasses.

“Yeah,” Yoongi replies, turning back to the computer. “Sabotaging your end so I look like the talented one.” 

“Don’t need to sabotage my shit to do that,” Donghae says and Yoongi just grins, changing another lyric. Donghae chuckles and stands, stretching with a quiet groan behind him before he drags another chair up to Yoongi’s side. “How do you want to record?” 

“Let’s go instrumentals and finalize those before we do vocals,” Yoongi says, and Donghae nods and sits back. 

Even after the fifteenth take of the same guitar riff, Donghae’s tone of voice remains polite and easy, and Yoongi is incredibly thankful that he’s working with Donghae, who’s patience is far better than his own. Donghae just smiles when Yoongi huffs and deletes the recorded track, gesturing for him to do it again. 

It takes thirteen hours straight for them to finish recording. They switch off working, Yoongi napping on the couch as Donghae records his vocals, layering each rough tone until it reaches a point of perfection, and then they switch off, and Yoongi records each rap with precise diction and intonation, eyes lit up by the blinding blue of his phone screen, lyrics spit off with fury, anger, and desperate longing. 

Yoongi pretends not to see the look in Donghae’s eyes as he records. Donghae doesn’t comment on it either, save for the occasional, “Good!” exclamation, or high five in between takes. When they finally sink down into their individual chairs and listen to the album straight through, the relief is palpable. 

“We’re done,” Donghae says, sounding almost surprised, and Yoongi has to bite back a sarcastic comment and just nods, slumping over. Donghae leans over, and his head touches Yoongi’s shoulder seconds later. Yoongi inhales deeply, and then exhales, slowly. His fingers come up and find Donghae’s hair, brushing through it. Donghae’s eyes flick up, once, to look at him, before they close and he simply  _ breathes _ . 

Yoongi hates that he leans into Donghae’s touch when the elder finally hugs him, minutes later. 

_ ~ _ **_Making out this love for us,_ **

**_I’m really hoping things work out,_ **

**_I’m sure you’d understand if I was nervous,_ **

**_We head out on the open road,_ **

**_Pack sack full of dirty clothes,_ **

**_Rain hasn’t given up yet, that’s for sure._ **

**_One day soon, I’ll make a vow,_ **

**_To live life fancy, free of how_ **

**_The house is tied up blindly to that old white fence._ **

**_For genuinely, I’ll reply,_ **

**_The plans I’ve made won’t make you buy,_ **

**_Into this childish game I’ve taught myself is life._ **

**_Is life, was life,_ **

**_Is life, was life._ ** _ ~ _

The contract negotiations are rough. It’s not uncommon to have groups split between companies, and Yoongi and Donghae are on the same page for what they want; they want to be able to promote together, to work together when they want to, on their own schedules, with no pressure to do anything except for what they want. 

Big Hit doesn’t immediately jump on it, but when Yoongi provides the team with a copy of the recorded tracks, it becomes clear that they hadn’t expected a finished album. Yoongi stands firm in his wants for the duo, and finally, they give in. SM is both harder and easier. Donghae has the added bonus of being able to pull the weight of SJ Label behind him, and the rest of Super Junior seem excited about the album. 

Donghae is sprawled on the couch in Genius Lab when he finally gets the text from Leeteuk, with the okay to continue on as a duo and to promote together. “Did you play the album for them?” Yoongi asks curiously, spinning his chair to look over at Donghae. 

“No way,” Donghae grins. “I wanted it to be a surprise for them too. They don’t always hear the stuff I work on, just the things I offer to A&R to put up as options for our tracks. I’ve got plenty they’ve never heard before, and plenty more than only Hyukjae or Kyuhyun have heard.” 

(Hyukjae, being Eunhyuk, Yoongi pieces together. It’s taken time, but he’s finally starting to get better about putting together names and faces of the group, the longer he spends with Donghae. He debates asking Donghae for a game, to put together presentations on both of their groups for each other. Donghae struggles with the names of Bangtan as well, Yoongi knows, has watched as Donghae stared blankly at a picture of Hoseok until Yoongi gave in to his laughter and Donghae kicked him). 

“What should we call ourselves?” Yoongi asks, staring at the papers in front of him, with the information for their album printed on it. 

“I texted you in October,” Donghae says thoughtfully. “October’s flower is a marigold.”

“Marigold,” Yoongi repeats and nods. Their eyes meet and Donghae grins. Yoongi ducks his head and smiles as he jots it down. 

**_Group Name: 마리골드 / Marigold_ **

**_Members: Lee Donghae (Super Junior), Min Yoongi (BTS)_ **

**_Album Title: Against The Wind_ **

**_Title Track: 나에게가는 길 (Find Me Again)_ **

**_Total Tracks On Album: 7_ **

And with that, it’s done. Yoongi watches as the album comes together, as the final touches are added, and he stares blankly when the first physical copy is placed in his hands. 

“What’s that?” Jimin asks, leaning over the arm of the chair in the practice room. “Is that an album? Who’s album is that?”

“Mine,” Yoongi answers without thinking and Jimin’s gasp alerts the others to gather around them. 

“Open it,” Seokjin urges and after a slight hesitation, Yoongi smiles and opens the album. The pictures are everything he and Donghae wanted; black and white photography, models they had handpicked themselves to represent their characters, a lyric book, written in their handwriting, and the album itself. 

“Holy shit,” Taehyung says softly, going through the lyric book. “This is absolutely impossible to read.”

“Sunbaenim has worse handwriting than you do, hyung,” Jungkook chimes in next to him. Yoongi scoffs, eyes falling on a little note tucked underneath the CD itself. Yoongi pops the CD out and looks at the note, Donghae’s handwriting scribbled on a post-it. 

_ Min Yoongi-ssi (Suga-ssi), _

_ It was an honor and a privilege to work with you on this album. I’ve learned a lot over the course of the last few months, and I think it’s safe to say I’m a better man to have met you. Here's to many more albums in the future. Marigold, fighting! _

_ Lee Donghae (Hyung)~ _

Yoongi’s fingers find his phone quicker than he ever has in his life, and this time, it takes him no time to type out a message. 

_ You’re a fucking nerd, hyung _ . 

Donghae sends a string of unintelligible emojis in reply, but Yoongi can interpret each and every one of them; that under the struggle to put his thoughts to words, is a kind man with wisdom and inspiration, and music to share with the world, so long as someone helps guide him towards the words he wants. Yoongi sends a single heart, and after a moment of typing, Donghae sends one in kind. 

Yoongi smiles at his phone, even as the dots show up, showing Donghae is typing, and then the next message comes through. 

_ What time does your schedule end? Dinner at yours? I’ll bring chicken & beer. I had an idea for another album.  _

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why this came to me, but I wanted to write a scenario in which the two producers worked together, and this came together in the span of a week or two. Please enjoy it. You can find me on Twitter at @theletterkeii


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